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Joke of the Day

"I like to play with words But there are only so many things you can do with a dictionary."

"I don't understand why whiteboards don't get more recognition.. If you think about, they truly are re-markable!"

"wtf is almond milk almonds ain't even got titties"

"You've been warned TO WHOEVER STOLE MY BROKEN BATHROOM SCALE. YOU WON'T GET A WEIGH WITH THIS!"

"My new girlfriend says a small penis doesn't bother her... ... but I wish she wouldn't have one at all."

"Sorry I ate your baby but you shouldn't have wrapped it like a burrito."

"Just tried to even up my sideburns and now I'm a hairless cat."

"Lazy rule #35: If you spill some water, it will eventually dry."

"I'm off to pick the kids up from school. Before their parents get there."

"I just completed a one month long diet... And all I lost was 30 days."