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Joke of the Day

"I call my kettle Jim Carey, because it brews-all-my-tea."

"Tofu is really overrated It's just a curd to me."

"This Suicide Prevention message was brought to you in part by: **Nike** *""Just Do It""*"

"A decrease in popularity I think a great decrease of the popularity of the song ""It's Raining Men"" was caused by 9/11."

"Did you hear about the hearse that got into a head on collision? Luckily only one person was found dead at the scene"

"How do you celebrate July 4th in Canada? Not by getting drunk and blowing off your fingers, because it's just a regular day fir you."

"My wife used to be a nun... But I got her out of the habit."

"Never let your children play in an orchestra. Too much sax and violins. * Credit to maxwell bot."

"Practicing for my audition tape for ""MTV True Life: Let's go huff some fucking glue"""

"A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers. It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz."