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Joke of the Day

"What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends? A ditch."

"If Steve Jobs can do that to the iPhone, think what he could do to Verne Troyer."

"Dad tells his son to vacuum *hears son lazily vacuuming * dad:do it properly, if I wanted to hear loud noises but nothing being done I'd go to a feminist rally"

"What the difference between Reddit and other sites? On some of them you actually have a voat"

"What's a frat boy's favorite toy company? Hasbrah."

"I thought Angry Birds was what I get from other drivers."

"I checked an anti-gravity book out of the library... I just can't put it down."

"I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them."

"What's the best cure to a bad hangover? A good personality"

"Call out to CAN_ZIGZAG: what do they call it when a mechanic frees up a stuck gearshift? Manumission"