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Joke of the Day
"You know what I like to do? Answer my own questions."
Next Joke
"mob boss: stick his body in the compost pile me: wha mob boss (grabbing my collar intently): we might be killers, but u only got one earth"
"I was astonished to learn that the meat in Subway was slaughtered in a traditional Muslim way. I mean how the fuck do they fit a rucksack on a cow?"
"My girlfriend said I was too controlling ... and it wasn't her turn to speak."
"Cake is better than sex because cavities are better than babies"
"Birds are dinosaurs? No. I want dinosaurs here or I want them completely gone. I don't need a bullshit imitation dinosaur to shit on my car."
"What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist? Bernie sanders"
"Donald Trump, This is.. (optional)"
"I was pondering life with the cat wizard... Then he said something that gave me paws."
"Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'? Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!"