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Joke of the Day

"If you're a delivery driver and don't get a tip... You get shafted"

"Why can't Java programmers see well? Because of the eclipse"

"I just fired my liquid measurement calibration manager He had really poor litership skills."

"The Lion King really created trust issues between me and the nephew."

"It was that time of the month. I said to the wife, 'you know, your mouth isn't bleeding...' She replied, 'yours will be if you keep up with that shit'"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopuss"

"Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap."

"How would you describe the average bully? Mean."

"Why did the atheist cannibal stop eating Christians? Because they didn't agree with him."

"If I had a nickel for everytime I was asked for... ...Change, I still wouldn't give it to the homeless guy"