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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopuss"

"The school called me on the phone today and said, ""Your son has been telling lies."" I replied, ""Well, tell him he's bloody good! I don't have no kids!"

"What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive? Terminal illness."

"Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face."

"Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea."

"What shampoo do dragons prefer? Head & Smolders"

"DATING TIP: Don't reply to texts right away or you might look desperate. Just wait. Give it 5, 10, maybe even 15 years. Keep things casual."

"I lost all my Pokemon cards in a fire I only have Ash now"

"What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired arms!"

"Did you know that all milk has to be sterilized before use? Prepasteurous!"