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Joke of the Day

"ever notice how santa give rich kids better presents than poor kids. come on 8yr olds put your thinking caps on"

"I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me."

"A boy talks to his mother about what he hopes to become. The boy said, ""Mom? I have something to tell you"" ""Go ahead"", the mother said. ""I promise not to laugh."" *The boy wanted to be a comedian.*"

"Run over by a Limo My mate got run over this morning by a limousine, it took fucking ages..."

"Yo mama so fat, when she stands next to yo daddy they still in a long-distance relationship."

"What does a pretentious owl say? Whom whom."

"what do you call chess players bragging in a hotel lobby? chess nuts boasting in an open foyer"

"Michael Phelps just won another gold medal for taking the quickest bath."

"What do you call the useless bit of skin at the end of a penis? A Man."

"And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no ""non creepy"" way to ask where the Vaseline is."