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Joke of the Day
"I thought I had an STD once... turned out it was just carpal tunnel."
Next Joke
"[at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here"
"Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl"
"I hate it when you have french fries and all of the sudden people are acting like they like you"
"How did Donald Trump earn his millions? He started with his dad's billions."
"16: 'We should put a flat screen on the wall!' Wife: 'I really don't like mounting things.' Me: *mumbles 'No shit.' W: 'What was that??'"
"Did you hear about the guy who couldn't afford vanity plates? He had to change his name to J3X CY4"
"""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and being tagged in a super unflattering photo."""
"I don't understand Christians They say that gambling is wrong, but they bet their entire life on there being a heaven."
"You know what grinds my gears? People who say they know how to drive stick because they ""watched a tutorial on YouTube""."