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Joke of the Day

"16: 'We should put a flat screen on the wall!' Wife: 'I really don't like mounting things.' Me: *mumbles 'No shit.' W: 'What was that??'"

"What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon."

"My good friend is the world's best hitman... ...earning over $10 million each year. He really makes a killing."

"A wise old man once told me... ...to bend over."

"Why is Superman wanted by the police? He is wanted for being the Man of Steal."

"What is white and square? A ping pong block."

"What did the premature ejaculatist say to his offended lover? Sorry... That came out wrong."

"Recently HP fucked up on my order of a Laserjet they've sent me a fucking printer instead!"

"""hey jay"" ""sup world war"" ""how u doin' dragon ball"" - the z family reunion"

"A gay guy wants a tattoo of truck on his penis... Tattoo artist asks ""What kind of truck do you want on it?"" Gay guy says ""It better be a 4x4 cause it's going to get muddy."""