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Joke of the Day

"Major milestone today -- found my first grey pubic hair! But once I picked it out, the burger tasted pretty decent."

"[White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS? *Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand*"

"What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance? ""Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!"""

"Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% battery left"

"95% of parenting is using your sock as a mop."

"What do you call a black woman with 8 abortions? A crime fighter."

"Facebook is like prison because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you."

"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey But then I turned myself around. So that's what it's all about."

"Yo mommas so ugly.. Scorpion said ""STAY OVER THERE"""

"Offensively sexual** Whats the worst part about eating hairless pussy? You have to put the diaper back on after."