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Joke of the Day

"Did I ever tell you about how I once dated a stripper named Cake? She always used to let me have it and eat it, too."

"Record for the world's smallest penis? Must be hard to beat."

"If you reply with ""sky"" each time I ask what's up, I shall assume you're homeless."

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a plane and it crashes on an island. Who survives? America."

"I could tell a joke... but I'm not funny. Sorry. Please don't kill me."

"Two crows walk into a bar. Before they can order their first drink, they get arrested for attempted murder."

"What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use Lubricant."

"Some people say Steve Jobs died to early... but I'd say its an appropriate metaphor for his companies policy on battery life"

"Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]"

"I'm not doing anything cheesy for my girlfriend on valentines day... She's lactose intolerant."