4249

Joke of the Day

"Two crows walk into a bar. Before they can order their first drink, they get arrested for attempted murder."

"Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?"

"The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield."

"You get what you get and you don't get upset... You have cancer."

"whats the difference between a baby and an onion? i cry when i chop an onion"

"What do you call a man with three cocks? A farmer"

"I tried to use a watch as a belt But it's just a waist of time"

"I hate people who take drugs... specifically the DEA and US Customs. Edit: Thanks everyone for the free Internet points. Appreciate it. :)"

"When my son gets uppity, I like to remind him that I'm totally nailing his mom."

"Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Pixar collection... ...But he's never gonna give you Up."