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Joke of the Day

"When I was 13 I prayed to God to lengthen my penis by 1"". I think I made him angry. Either that or the Olympian Gods answered my prayer."

"Women are like Alarm Clocks. It's such a relief when they finally shut the hell up."

"Life is always one step forward, two steps back...Then slide to the left...Slide to the right. CRISS CROSS!!!"

"Doctor Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around. Don't worry it's just a bug that's going around !doc"

"I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to guess what medications you're on."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig jumped into a giant pit of mud."

"What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea? A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy"

"Women know that men are like linoleum . . . If they lay 'em right the first time, they can walk on them for years."

"How do pianists remember which groceries to buy? They use a Chopin Liszt!"

"Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers? One of them actually ended a race."