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Joke of the Day

"When I was 13 I prayed to God to lengthen my penis by 1"". I think I made him angry. Either that or the Olympian Gods answered my prayer."

"As mad as I have been at my boyfriend, I still have never demeaned the size of his penis... That's just a dick move."

"Can you ""pray away"" asparagus pee?"

"You know, I used to hate my haircut... ... but it's really growing on me!"

"Sometimes I like to surprise my neighbours by smiling and waving back at them."

"What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster? Sir."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino!"

"Misty is in the shower and Brock is at the door knocking. What does Brock say? Ash told me you were in here and I should take a pikachu. I'm sorry..."

"The Job Interview: HR: So you are bilingual? Me: Si HR: In your native tongue please. Me: Ooga Booga"

"Did you hear ISIS is in Italy now? Italian ISIS... I'll show myself out."