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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally just told a girl that ""she has a nice head"" because I appearently have the flirting skills of a serial killer"

"The Jackhammer, Now that was a groundbreaking discovery."

"A blind man walks into a bar... And a table, and a chair...."

"*Eating mini Reese's cups* 5&7: Mommy what are you eating? M: Dog poop."

"Time is not wasted, when your wasted all the time"" ~Benjamin Franklin (I think.)"

"What's a composer's favourite childhood game? Haydn seek."

"i don't always not give a shit. but when i do. Nevermind, I don't give a shit"

"Victims of successfull murder attempts: whats your story? Serious replies only."

"So I took some acid and ate an entire box of Fiber bars. I've been seeing shit for days."

"Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !"