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Joke of the Day

"Why do Communist Dictators have trouble getting their work done on time? They're way too into Stalin"

"My wife was proud that I admitted to also being married to someone else ...she said it was big of me"

"I can accomplish great things if I apply myself... At least that's what a high school guidance counselor with a shit job and a bottle of whiskey in his desk told me once."

"What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall? Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just 1. It's offensive that you thought this was a joke."

"Do you know the time ? No we haven't met yet !"

"Why do I need a wingman? How's a half-man half-bird freak gonna get me laid?"

"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years, Come on guys I don't have 2020 vision"

"Why is the peanut crying? Because he couldn't handle his roast"

"Magic Johnson own everything, movies, gyms, restaurants, sports teams! What kind of aids he got? Financial aids?!?!"