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Joke of the Day
"The Anesthesiologist has become Comfortably numb."
Next Joke
"Hanging out with Helen Keller always made me feel like such a hipster. She'd never heard of any of the bands I like."
"What's green, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."
"What did the Scandinavian say at his Grandmothers funeral? She was a Swede old lady but now shes Finnish"
"What do you say to a guy with kidney stones? Urine trouble."
"What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common? We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed."
"Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest? They're always eager for more on their pate."
"50 shades of grey broke a lot of box office records for R-rated movies... Well first it tied them, then it beat them."
"What is Kylo Ren's favorite drink? Supreme Liter Coke."
"I literally use figuratively in literally every occasion where I am literally speaking figuratively."