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Joke of the Day

"Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest? They're always eager for more on their pate."

"Mom: I think I'm gonna make a twitter Me: Mom it costs like $500 a year... Mom: That's expensive I'll stick with Facebook Me: Aww too bad"

"What is the point of owning a fish? They are just furniture with the ability to die."

"A thug holds a gun to a dictionarys head and asks "" final words?"" the dictionary says ""zyzzyva."""

"Why do women and children evacuate first in an emergency? So the men can go on Reddit and repost this joke."

"I thought about going to a psychic, but then I started having doubts and changed my mind At that moment I received a text message that said ""Well, that's too bad"""

"Before Chris Brown did a concert with them,,, they were just known as ""The Peas""."

"I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald."

"I may not be smart and I may not be skinny and I may not be tan and I may not be cheerful and I may not be tall and I may not be sober and I"

"How many Freudians does it take to screw their mothers? Not mothers, lightbulbs. Shit."