118940

Joke of the Day

"It turns out no one likes ""the real me"" and they have asked the priest to reverse my exorcism."

"Johnny Depp's wife of just over a year Filed for Divorce today... With NO prenup...She is gonna get soooooo many bracelets."

"One morning, the CEO of an airline company asked his chief procurement officer: -- So, what's the deal with airline food?"

"Did you know that it's traditional to serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap? There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

"How long do you have to wait between naps?"

"*walks outside* Its real quiet.. Almost too quiet. *looks around* *lights BBQ* *1000 Dads emerge from nowhere giving generic BBQ advice*"

"What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? One's against the law, and the other's a sick bird."

"Jesus dropped his cross for the 3rd time, and Simon of Cyrene said to him: ""Do you even lift bro?"""

"""Once you go on the grass it is really hard to get out of it"". - my six year old nephew while playing NFS. I was like i know exactly what you are talking about!! ;)"

"When my friends come over they know to ask ""may I sit here"" and then we look at my dog to see if it's OK"