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Joke of the Day

"A parrot named Nigel leaves home and returns home,4 years later, speaking Spanish It's pretty common, all the language majors I knew moved back in with their parents too."

"I was eating an orange this morning, but it tasted funny... so I put it back in the crayon box!"

"So a rapist, pedphile and a priest walk into a bar... He orders a beer"

"Teacher : What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ? Pupil : It's stolen !"

"Based on how poorly this burrito was wrapped, I assume it was made by the one person at Taco Bell that has never rolled a blunt."

"Before my girlfriend Boyfriend: Did you fart before my girlfriend? Man: I didn't know it was her turn."

"To all those people who said I would be an unfit parent, have you seen the little guy lately? Cause that would be a big help, I seem to have misplaced him."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste"

"I went to a funeral the other day, my friend died after being hit on the head by a tennis ball. It was a lovely service."

"If you live in the US always be careful to not break your leg because you have to sell it after fixing it to cover the cost"