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Joke of the Day
"Miss Universe pageant will be awesome when the sluts from other planets finally decide to show up."
Next Joke
"So my friend who has multiple personalities called me yesterday. My Caller I.D. exploded....."
"Why are giraffe's heads so far away from their bodies? Long necks."
"M: What do you want for dinner? H: I don't care, you decide M: Sushi? H: No, but whatever. M: Mexican? H: Nah, but your call. He's dead now"
"Never have sex before 20... It can be difficult to perform in front of an audience."
"Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was ""he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid's ears"""
"""So sir, have you decided whether or not you'd like to buy this mattress?"" ""I'll sleep on it"""
"My brother got kicked out of his house by his wife for measuring his penis. For the record, it reaches the back of her sister's throat."
"Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental! "
"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear, the other's a great year."