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Joke of the Day

"never trust a person who says they don't like chocolate, even dogs eat chocolate and it kills them"

"What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer."

"A horse walks into a shrink's office. The shrink says ""Why the long penis? Er. Um. Face. Dammit!!"""

"Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences? Time served"

"Jesus died for our sins. But then he came back to life. Pretty sure that breaks the deal."

"Q: What's red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint."

"I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book. At least I know where I stand now."

"Why is English such a hard language to learn? Because it's"

"What's my favorite pirate workout and cereal? Captain Crunch"

"*kneels to pray* ""Hello, God?"" ""YOU'VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT."" ""Who is this?"" ""MY NAME IS BRAD."" ""Are you in Heaven, Brad?"" ""NO, INDIA."""