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Joke of the Day

"A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar... A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar and says, ""hey, big boy. You single?"" He says, ""yeah! How'd you know?"" ""You're fucking ugly, for starters."""

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"Standing in a park today wondering why a frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. And then it hit me! -Stewart Francis"
"Look. If we're going with redundancies like ""tunafish"", I'll just have my beefmeat and be done with it."
"Looking back 2016 was a very eventful year. But I guarantee 2017 will trump it."
"What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls"
"What is the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit and the dog, pants."
"Why do famous and rich black people stay at the Ritz? Because they are sold out to crackers!"
"Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ? He wrecked three cars a bus and two fire engines !"
"there's literally no way to know for sure how many chameleons are chillin in your house right now"
"As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. My engineering is perfect."