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Joke of the Day

"Now that Harriet Tubman is on the $20... Is it only worth $12?"

"I thought you'd be flattered that my dog found your leg so attractive."

"I'm thinking of re-releasing my old tweets in 3D."

"What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor."

"Good guy in movie shot 3 times: I must save my family Me, kinda sore from trampoline sesh: sorry gramma can't make it to your 85th bday"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool"

"I'm not racist my best friend growing up was black Until my dad sold him"

"My girlfriend asked for a dick pic file size too large"

"*Walking with wife listening to Dust In The Wind* Me: This is our song. *A dude walks by listening to it* Me: That's OUR song! GIVE IT BACK!"

"My neighbors have really overgrown trees in their yard and keep their curtains down all the time I think that's pretty shady"