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Joke of the Day

"""guns don't kill people, guns CREATE people!"" *fires 10 newborn babies out of a bazooka*"

"Republicans are like presidential butt plugs. Their sole purpose is to block Obama's shit."

"What do you call the slums in Paris? The baghetto"

"I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook It's about thyme"

"[frantically pressing buttons on spaceship control panel] WHICH ONE IS FOR POPCORN"

"How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb? One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs"

"Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister? Because he never pays his debts"

"Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11."

"There's a question in the exam that said, ""What is the past tense of 'think'?"" So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'."

"Why is it a bad idea to get in a relationship with a statue? Because it's not going anywhere."