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Joke of the Day

"""Look at what came in the mail today!"" ""That damn horny mailman again?"""

"Where can you go to pick up black birds? The crow bar"

"How do you make an archeologist mad? Give them a bloody tampon and ask what period it's from"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change shit."

"I always keep a google search for ""how to find anyone, anywhere, and kill them"" open on my phone in case anyone steals it."

"I'm posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they're making ceramic bowls."

"What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window."

"I bet if Jesus were here right now, he'd be like ""Toilets are amazing."""

"I too like my women like I like my laptop. Laying there dying, while I masturbate to it."

"Knuckle tattoo idea: BORN DEFORMED"