388

Joke of the Day

"I know dream catchers don't work because I've never seen one in a car worth more than two thousand dollars."

"Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like God came down and highlighted all the important parts."

"[text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line."

"Well Done to Barack Obama... The first Black man to hear the words 'four more years' without them being spoken by a Judge during a parole hearing."

"Why did the Sudanese boy get arrested in Texas? I'm not exactly sure, but it was about time."

"What do you call backup milk? *Secondairy*"

"Fun Fact: When you die, someone will feel inconvenienced that your funeral is on a particular day. lol"

"Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police."

"Yo mama so fat ...I find myself attracted to her in a very sexual way. Is she seeing anyone?"

"Sorry I put a Gryffindor scarf on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and called him Hermione Manger."