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Joke of the Day

"A lady centipede crosses her legs..... .....""For the one hundredth time, NO!"""

"An insanely hot girl sat across me in the train this morning and our eyes met. I thought I'd have a raging boner. But then she had one first."

"I would like to tell you about how I beat the Elite Four's Pokemon using only Luvdisc... But just a disclaimer, that battle is not for the faint of heart."

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data..."

"Cop said that it's illegal for me to have flashing lights & siren on my car. I looked at his car and said are you going to arrest yourself?"

"A polio survivor walks into a bar...... Wait I fucked it up."

"What does a Doctor do when he needs 50 bags full of fruits? He goes to Orlando and checks the Pulse."

"A very curious kid Kid: ""Papa, are you growing taller all the time?"" Father: ""No, my child. Why do you ask?"" Kid: ""Because the top of your head is poking up through your hair."""

"Why was the Windows PC broke? It ran out of cache."

"Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo? A: They make good paddles."