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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo? A: They make good paddles."

"That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid."

"There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe, call in sick tomorrow."

"What star sign is a donut? It's a Taurus!"

"I went to see Jurassic World because I heard there was a recently genetically modified dinosaur... I didn't see Caitlyn Jenner anywhere"

"I did some Star War's fantasy roll playing this weekend Me, Hand Solo and Princess Didn't-Get-Laid-a."

"Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd."

"What do Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad have in common? They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15."

"I had a roommate, but he was ran over by a bus... Now I have a flatmate."

"A boy goes on holiday to Mexico and texts his mate saying ""Weather out here is just like your mother, 36 and hot"" His mate replies ""Weather back here is just like your sister, 16 and wet"""