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Joke of the Day

"*interrupts your class* Girl sorry to embarrass you, but I wrote this for you *whips out guitar, fucks up intro* wait. *tries again* wait."

"I've been single for a while now and I'm staring to realize something. They blur out A lot of Asian porn."

"I recently learned my friend likes to be dominated by his girlfriend in bed. I wouldn't have pegged him for that."

"There are 3 types of pain... 1.) Pain. 2.) Excruciating Pain. 3.) STEPPING ON A LEGO!"

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a.... Oh shit they're done That is all"

"You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook."

"If a tree falls in the forest...... If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

"Two men walk into a bar. First one says ""I'll have an H20."" Second man says, ""You know what? I'll have an H20 too."" The second man dies."

"A man walks into a bank and puts a bag of weed up on the counter. He asks to open a joint account"

"Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out."