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Joke of the Day

"*interrupts your class* Girl sorry to embarrass you, but I wrote this for you *whips out guitar, fucks up intro* wait. *tries again* wait."

"Why are A's like flowers? Because B's go after them!"

"Bird Strike Pilots in a cockpit of A380: -Damn! Birdstrike!! -NO!! It was a Fokker 50!!"

"Cracks chemistry joke No reaction"

"Men used to slay dragons, and here I am shuffling around like a penguin with my pants around my ankles looking for extra toilet paper."

"What do you get when you cross an iPad with a Christmas Tree? A PiNEAPPLE! Get it? ;-D"

"My least favorite branch of the military is the Girl Scouts, they can't fight for shit."

"When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say ""thank you""? ...instead of all this ""how did you get in to my house?"" calling 9-11 business."

"Why doesn't the GOP establishment want Trump as their nominee? They hate colored people."

"""Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants"" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows"