211208

Joke of the Day

"I've been single for a while now and I'm staring to realize something. They blur out A lot of Asian porn."

"Why is 12 the highest number rednecks can count to? How else would they know how many cans are in a 12 pack."

"If I'm ever in a coma, don't try to wake me. I'm doing what I love."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus"

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scalar."

"""Hey Hillary what color do you think this dre-- never mind"" - Bill Clinton scrolling through Twitter last night"

"PRIEST: Do you take this this woman, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, until death do you part? ME: Well, now you made it weird."

"What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks? The stove."

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three ho's."

"<at a baptism> *leans over* Me:What's the WiFi password? Him:Jesus Christ, dude! Me:That makes sense....is it case sensitive?"