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Joke of the Day

"Q: Dad why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage? A: Because son it is more difficult to hit a moving target."

"Why did Hitler kill himself? He got the gas bill."

"What does walking a tightrope and having period sex have in common? You don't want to look down, in either case."

"I just tried to woo Stephen Hawking. But I don't think I pushed the right buttons."

"You've really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can't reach it anyways"

"What does one strawberry say to the other? ""Well, if you hadn't been so fresh last night, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam!"""

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."

"""How do you speak with an American accent?"" ""Well, imagine vowels killed your parents, and you're out for revenge."""

"Saw some girl pull up to her mailbox, open her door & then fall entirely out of her car while reaching for the mail. JK It was me."

"JON: What should I do with these extra mustard packs? MARY: Just stuff 'em in the Lazy Susan. SUSAN: Hey, I'm right here! (*remains seated*)"