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Joke of the Day

"Enough Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died at Auschwitz. Just kidding. He was there though."

"I hate being bipolar it's awesome"

"I accidentally touched my dogs balls and now I feel awkward around him. We haven't made eye contact in over 4 hours."

"My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I'll deal with him later."

"What do you get if you rub an eggplant? A little aubergenie"

"Play Mambo No. 5 at my funeral even if you have to fight my family"

"Roses are red... Roses are red, downvotes are blue, speaking of downvotes, here's one for you!"

"I was in a bank yesterday and all the money just floated out the door by itself. It was a polterheist."

"Two WWE fans walk into a fight club They promptly get the shit beat out of them. Moral: Just because it's ""good"" entertainment does not mean an RKO will help you win a real fight"

"Decades of video games have left me WAY too confident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."