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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally touched my dogs balls and now I feel awkward around him. We haven't made eye contact in over 4 hours."

"I just bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"

"Taylor Swift seems like the kind of chick who'd stare at her boyfriend while he's sleeping."

"What do black guys have that's double the size of white men and gets bigger every time they touch a woman? Their criminal record."

"*Geography Bee* Judge: ""Tell me about Yemen."" Me: ""Chandler said he was moving there when he couldn't breakup with Janice on Friends."""

"The people who post to /r/jokes have zero sense of humor... Maybe it's a weird meta-humor thing....or maybe this is where everyone's creepy uncle hangs out"

"Why can't T-Rex's High Five? Because they're all dead"

"Everyone wants a white Christmas... but all Christmases matter!!!"

"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 to hold the bulb in place and 100 to spin the house around it."