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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are about $1.79, and deer nuts are right under a buck."

"My ex-girlfriend and I both went blind before we broke up. After that, we just couldn't see each other anymore."

"My company is hiring someone for a Business Development, Sales and Marketing position... They're gonna call the new hire the BDSM Executive."

"[breakup] Who should get the cat? ""I don't know...let's see who he loves the most"" {3 weeks later} Can you tell? ""Nope"""

"Jealous of how pineapples always have cool hair."

"Coworker: Man, it was cold last night! Me: I had my heat on. CW: I meant outside. Me: I don't live outside. CW..."

"Men get frustrated because they don't understand how women think. Women get frustrated because they understand how men think."

"A Match Made in Heaven God grabbed a box of cigarettes and pulled one out. He put it in his mouth when he realized he had nothing to light it with."

"I hope when the Avengers meet Spider-Man they give him shit for not helping when NYC got attacked."

"You think we should see other people? I'm bipolar. I am other people."