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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone? Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for."

"Ignorance is a palindrome"

"Which side of the goose has the most feathers? The outside"

"In retrospect, when the cop pulled me over & asked ""where's the fire"", stroking a lighter & whispering ""haven't decided yet"" was a mistake."

"Me: Wow, 5k followers Wife: Is your top tweet still something I said? Me: Ya Wife: Then aren't they really MY followers? Me: *drinks heavily"

"I have coffee before looking at art. Brews before hues."

"Doc : Do you know what blood type you are? Me : Red?"

"Excuse me ma'am could you tell me the date? Because you're a total 10/10!"

"By the end of their life, everyone will have appeared in at least two Fast & Furious movies"

"Irony Just an alloy of Fe and Yttrium"