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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an angry German? sauerkraut! (sour kraut)"

"Yo momma... Is so fat she started a new diet, lost a lot of weight and is doing really well now."

"Drunk. In Wal Mart. Fuck."

"Finish this thought A man lands on his driveway, gets out of his spaceship, enters his home to find..."

"So a horse walks into a bar... The patrons of the bar then proceed to scream in surprise because there's A FREAKING HORSE IN THE BAR."

"""Mom I wanna go bungee jumping."" ""NO!"" ""But all my friends are going"" ""Oh! So if your friends jump off a cliff, will you too?"" ""Er...yes"""

"Retweet this and something good will happen at some point in the near future that you can choose to attribute to having retweeted this."

"What's the similarity between Hellen Keller and a sad pirate? Neither of them got to sea!"

"My mom keeps walking in everytime I watch porn. I'm just glad she doesn't know I'm watching it."

"What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired arms!"