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Joke of the Day

"What does an egg say when its ""turnt up""? Omlet!"

"A guy just offered to buy me a drink. I declined, but heard him say lesbo to his pal. I replied ""Only for you, baby"". Now he feels special."

"For Christmas my mum bought me a t-shirt saying, ""I'm a nudist."" I haven't worn it yet."

"What is Chewbaccas favorite celebrity? Wookie Goldberg"

"Why is Victoria Beckham not in a commercial for 'Old Spice'?"

"""This is where we separate the men from the boys.""- Craig, JC Penny manager, organizing the layout of the store."

"I'm extending the weekend one MORE day for everyone. I talked to your boss, (s)he said no problem as long as you dress slutty on wed."

"How do you know that you are dating a french horn player? Because when you kiss them they shove their fist up your butt"

"How is Santa able to carry so many presents at once? Santa isn't real."

"how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks she made this up)"