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Joke of the Day

"How do you know that you are dating a french horn player? Because when you kiss them they shove their fist up your butt"

"These jokes about semen are getting out of hand Seriously guys, put a sock in it"

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."

"Even the coffee is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Wait...am I being poisoned? *drinks it anyway*"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number...you've probably never heard of it."

"How can you tell if someone is a marathon runner? Don't worry, they'll let you know."

"ME (pulling wishbone): I won WIFE: what'd u wish for? M: uh world peace W: Nice *human-sized bacon strip walks into kitchen* Hey, what's up?"

"What's the Square Root of 69? Ate something."

"Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber? Char-Jar Binks"

"My mom asked if i would stop singing Wonderwall by Oasis... I said ""Maybe""."