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Joke of the Day

"The whole ""limiting myself to one glass of wine a day"" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule."

"What's the difference between black people and cancer? Cancer got Jobs"

"How do you hit on a Jewish girl? Tell her that she israeli hot!"

"Why is every boob job the same? Two round boobs. Switch it up ladies. Someone get two Belgian waffles or something."

"How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Lutherans don't change."

"A man walks into the bar But fails since he was too busy drinking through law school"

"Why did Snoop Dogg bring an umbrella? Fo Drizzle."

"Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest? They're always eager for more on their pate."

"What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr? Nap-kin"

"My all-time favorite one liner NSFW Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush."