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Joke of the Day
"what do you call it when 3 muppets have sex together? - Mena Menage a trois"
Next Joke
"Friends don't let friends make Harlem Shake' videos..."
"[chef interview] BOSS: Are you familiar with kitchen jargon ME: Yeah, that means you're missing a jar"
"Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn't be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn't waste thousands of them in the '80s throwing them at Mario."
"My Somalian friend asked me the other day... If I had ever tried Somalian food. ""No, I've never had any,"" I said. ""That's all right,"" he said, ""neither have Somalians."""
"What's the etiquette on petting a baby that's been leashed to the bike rail outside Starbucks?"
"Rules for texting a girl: 1. Don't take 40 minutes to reply. 2. Use good grammar. 3. Ask Questions. 4. Use the face."
"At 31 years old, I decided to grow up, kick a bad habit and stopped biting my nails. The nosebleeds are getting annoying, though."
"How do you get over a crush you've had since high school? Leave the dungeon door unlocked."
"What do you get when you spend all afternoon replying to your anonymous feedback on Corpell Anonymous Box? Corpell tunnel syndrome"