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Joke of the Day

"What's the etiquette on petting a baby that's been leashed to the bike rail outside Starbucks?"

"A sniper looks over a large crowd of people from his hidden perch. Over his earpiece, he is told to fire at will. He carefully spots his target, and shoots. ""Crap, that wasn't Will."""

"If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen."

"I prefer science to religion, as the former doesn't seem to grow vengeful and jealous when refused attention."

"The neighbours dog has jumped up into my garden so much that he's totally destroyed the fence. Figured here's the best place to get it fixed as everyone is a certified reposter."

"Mexican Magician A Mexican magician was known for his vanishing act. He would drape a sheet over his head and count: ""Uno! Dos!""...........POOF! the sheet fell flat. He was gone without a Tres."

"All the workers at the nuclear reactor plant left work. They left a sign at the door. What did it say? Sorry! Gone fission."

"What happened when the car took LSD? It went on a road trip and had an auto body experience!"

"What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly is the only word spelled I n c o r r e c t l y"

"What do rodents say when they play bingo ? 'Eyes down for a full mouse' !"