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Joke of the Day
"What's the etiquette on petting a baby that's been leashed to the bike rail outside Starbucks?"
Next Joke
"At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, ""Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."""
"Wanted to tweet ""I'm hella tired"" but my phone keeps autocorrecting ""hella"" to ""REALLY? HELLA? YOU ARE A GROWN-ASS LADY, KNOCK IT OFF."""
"What do you call a cow with epilepsy? Beef jerky!"
"the umami flavor derives its nam from the phenomnenom of when u taste som realy good soy sauce & it causes u to sassily shout ""oo, mami!"""
"Hubby has an alarm app where you can record your own sounds or music to wake up to. I just changed his to ""THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!"""
"The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. ""For whosoever we are about to eat may the Lord make us truly thankful."""
"It might take a village to raise a child... but it only takes a viking to raze a village."
"Who is the most basic Spice Girl? Pumpkin Spice."
"What is the name of one of the Chinese gymnasts competing at the Rio Olympics? Wai Tu Yung"