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Joke of the Day

"[chef interview] BOSS: Are you familiar with kitchen jargon ME: Yeah, that means you're missing a jar"

"American Politics That's it, that's the joke"

"A photon walked into a hotel. The clerk asked it it would like a hand with it's luggage... ""No thank-you"", said the photon, ""I'm travelling light""."

"Did you hear about the anesthesiologist with giant breasts? She's a knockout."

"The thing that frightens me the most about being brutally murdered is having Nancy Grace screeching about the details of it on primetime tv."

"What's white, located in washington and has a president within it? Monica Lewinsky's teeth."

"Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you."

"So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?"

"I just told my wife it took her longer to pick a Netflix movie than it took me to pick out her engagement ring and that was a bad analogy."

"This whole time I thought 50 Shades of Grey was a coloring book for dogs"