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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking about bottling my own urine and selling it. I'll call it ""I Can't Believe It's Not Bud Light."""

"What do porn and heavy metal have in common? Both used to have a lot more hair back in the 70's and 80's"

"Come on, Grandma! Thank goodness for commas."

"If vampires can't see themselves in mirrors, how do they trim those perfect goatees?"

"Dark humor is like a child with cancer... It never gets old"

"Why Does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients."

"A girl asked me if I would like to see her pussy... ...and then she showed me her cat!"

"Newtonian physics are a good approximation for big objects that move slowly Like your mom"

"My boss wants to take me to lunch... I ask him, ""Where do you want to go? Are burgers cool?"" He said, ""I'll eat pretty much anything, except for fish."" I reply, ""Your poor wife"""

"Why is crack a ""Rock""? Because it's as hard to get off as Alcatraz."