117031

Joke of the Day

"the blue thumnbtacks on this map indicate concentrations of high (luna) energy, the red ones are all the panera breads ive been banned from"

"Bernie Sanders had a rally in Los Angeles last night attended by over 27,000 supporters. The rally set the world record for most Priuses in one parking lot."

"What's red and loud? A skinned baby in a bag of salt."

"Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room."

"I asked my mom to tell me a joke... ""Your love life"" wasn't the response I was looking for."

"Did you hear the one about the German who couldn't find his fruit cake? It was Stollen."

"What's the difference between a black man and happiness? You can't buy happiness!"

"Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to begin eating itself, as it was the less painful way to die."

"What did Hitler say when he got a 10 kill streak? Get reiched."

"What do you call it when you are looking for your Subaru Forrester in a parking garage? Finding Forrester"