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Joke of the Day

"When I retire I plan to study oceanography. (I'll eat like a shark, drink like a fish and lay on the beach like a whale)"

"Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily."

"I hear a lot of black men are joining the Mexican Cartel.... I guess it takes Jaun to know De'Quan"

"Did you hear the Energizer bunny got arrested? He was charged with battery."

"What do you call someone who has discovered nirvana? A Buddhist Or a Teenager who thinks they are now greater than everyone else Older people might not feel this joke"

"Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics? He was caught taking Polaroids."

"I had to tell my toddler not to step on the baby. Four times. All my grandchildren from her will be cats."

"There are three kinds of people in New Zealand.. The racists, the big spiders, and the big racist spiders.."

"My fish can breakdance. But only for five seconds, and only once."

"What do fat chicks do in the summer? Stink."