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Joke of the Day
"I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn't. So I gave it mouth to mouth."
Next Joke
"What does Zeus wear under his tunic? Thunderwear!"
"I should marry my neighbor. She doesn't live with me, we never speak, and we see each other naked all the time."
"I can hear everything you're mumbling under the duct tape. Yes, I will marry you."
"*Husband using Ouija board after I've died* Please answer me *arrow moves* ""It's on the top shelf. Right there. RIGHT THERE! Use your eyes!"""
"Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that."
"Conservatives say the problem is Christianity ain't taught in schools. The real problem is Christianity ain't taught in church."
"How much does it cost to kill a Jew? It holocausts one."
"If I'm going to be in your dreams tonight please let me know so I can stuff some socks down the front of my pants."
"I'm not surprised you had a facelift..but it looks like you are."