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Joke of the Day

"Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that."

Next Joke
 
"What are three signs old age? 1. Becoming forgetful"
"How Do U Kill A Retard? Give him a knife and say ""who's special?"""
"Man who farts in church... ... sits in own pew"
"Why do you hate a nosey pepper? Cuz he's jalapeno .business"
"My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining."
"Cation Pronunciation : [kat-ahy-uhn,-on] -Noun Chemistry 1.An ion with paws-tive charge. 2.The cutest ion ever."
"When my friends come over they know to ask ""may I sit here"" and then we look at my dog to see if it's OK"
"Where do you usually find dogs? It all depends on where you lose them."
"Let's bring back the word HOOTENANNY"