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Joke of the Day

"""outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend"" ""inside of a dog, its too dark to read""-Groucho Marx"

"A straight face and a sincere-sounding ""Huh?"" have gotten me out of more trouble than I can remember."

"Why is a giraffes neck so long? So it can reach its head."

"What do you call a person with.. A phone."

"I may not look good naked, but I'm a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked"

"When does Eminem leave school? Aftermath"

"I was recently asked my view on lesbians... In HD wasn't the answer they were looking for :/"

"ME: This house is haunted WIFE [sigh] We've been thru this, that's our son SON: I just have a pale complexion Dad ME: TELL ME YOU HEARD THAT"

"""Don't even talk to me until I've Instagrammed my coffee."" - Portland, Oregon"

"Supposedly Adam Ant has been trying to impress Robert Plant for years... ...everyone knows Adam Ant doesn't move Robert Plant, but he's got high hopes."