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Joke of the Day

"Your momma so ugly ... Not even Ripley can believe it"

"Did you know that Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer? Too bad he never cries."

"The most toxic substances known to mankind. 1. Arsenic 2. Cyanide 3. Polonium 4. Mercury 5. The League of Legends community"

"Why did the fork go to the party? It wanted to have a good tine."

"I'm more optimistic than most. Some say the glass is half empty, some would say it's half full. I'd say ""Hey, That's a nice glass!"""

"My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say 'It's so cold out!' and I say 'It's winter' and then we silently hate each other."

"Did you hear about the woman who died in an Italian restaurant? She pasta way."

"My girlfriend is such a procrastinator She never finishes"

"Tonight's parenting lesson: If a 2-year-old says, ""I'm going to puke,"" FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T CALL HER BLUFF. I need a shower."

"They say everything is bigger in Texas, but their buses are usually shorter."