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Joke of the Day
"Doctor Doctor I keep seeing double. Please sit on the couch. Which one!"
Next Joke
"I've been cheating on you guys. Lately, I've been spending my time on my job and real life. They don't mean anything to me, I swear."
"What do you use when you have dry eyes? Moist-your-eyes-er"
"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and pimples? Pimples will wait till you're 14 to come on you're face."
"I just got mistaken for an employee at a haunted house. Assume it's because I look authoritative not because I look like I'm wearing a mask."
"Q: Two musicians are walking down the street and one says to the other ""Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"" A: The other replies ""That was no piccolo that was my fife."""
"TIFU by falling asleep on the john at noon. I meant Job. I fell asleep on the Job. :D :D"
"Who was the only novelist with both direction and magnitude? Vector Hugo."
"Each year more people die in bathtub accidents than plane accidents, but any idiot thinking they can fly a bathtub deserves what they get."
"A good woman is like home WiFi: Full of knowledge. Always there for you. Used by your roommate WHEN YOU'RE NOT THERE THAT'S RIGHT AMY I KNOW"